|He doesn't have much to do with this post. other than just how adorable and sweet he is.|
We're going to try another installment of Sweet Talk over here. Just a note-I'm not writing these for sympathy, or to be a martyr. I wanted to write them for two reasons, to be more honest here, and for me, to write out my flaws and to own them, it forces me to try to change my behavior. That being said, today's topic: Over thinking.
It is amazing my ability to over think ANY situation. An accepted invitation, a work promotion, or an unanswered text-they all have hidden agendas. "They must not have better plans" "They feel sorry for me, they don't actually think I am doing a good job." " He hates me--or is dead in a car accident."
I can over think an outfit, a song choice, dinner reservations, silence, and Friday night plans. I over think what is ahead, what is behind, and probably sideways.
I waste a lot of time in my head stressing about things and situations that are most likely not true. That also doesn't really allow me to enjoy the great moments that are happening...I'm always finding some hidden agenda that causes a lot of anxiety. Why do I do it? I'm not exactly sure..I know it's ridiculous. Maybe it's so if the worst case actually happens, I won't be a surprised, or to protect my feelings. Maybe it's because I've been hurt when I least expect it, so I just want to expect it. There's nothing worse than being blindsided in a situation. I've spent more time over thinking how this post will go over than using to express my feelings on it. If you couldn't tell, my disclaimer at the beginning of this post was due to my thoughts on how my readers respond to these posts. It is really just a vicious cycle-I've probably over thought myself out of happiness a hundred times, but never into it.
So, since today is Ash Wednesday and it is odd for me to not give up anything, I am going to try a different approach. For the next 40 days, I am going to try as hard as I can to give up over thinking, and perhaps all that goes along with it. If someone says something or acts a certain way, I am going to take it for face value...good or bad. I am going to remind myself